Panic attacks are hard to describe. But if you’ve had one – or if you have them regularly – you won’t need an explanation; I’m sure you can recall that debilitating wave of nauseous, mind-fuck horror well enough.
The first time I met 28-year-old Rosalia, in an empty cafe in northern Italy, she was reluctant to talk about her history of panic attacks – and for good reason. The disorder is usually treated by a psychologist or, if it’s a particularly serious case, with antidepressant medication. Unfortunately for Rosalia, when she started to experience symptoms at the age of 16 her mother chose another method of treatment. A devout Christian, she convinced herself that Satan had some part to play in her daughter’s condition and decided that an exorcist would be more helpful than a licensed medical expert.
“One day she told me that were going to Milan to shop – that I needed to relax and forget my problems,” said Rosalia. “It wasn’t until we were halfway to the monastery that she confessed we were actually going to meet an exorcist. I was horrified – my mother had just told me that I had the Devil inside me, and she interpreted every effort I made to get out of seeing the exorcist as a manifestation of Satan. Even though I was sure my problems were psychological, my mum’s confidence began to convince me; I started to believe that I was actually possessed. I was scared.”
Once the pair arrived at the monastery, Rosalia was taken off into a room with the exorcist, who pressed his head into her chest and began whispering the “liberation prayer” – an appeal for help rejecting all of life’s bad influences. The more Rosalia objected the more the priest tightened his grip, reading each scream and squirm as a direct act of Satan. “He crushed me so heavily that I couldn’t breathe,” she told me. “I was about to suffocate.” Full story...
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The first time I met 28-year-old Rosalia, in an empty cafe in northern Italy, she was reluctant to talk about her history of panic attacks – and for good reason. The disorder is usually treated by a psychologist or, if it’s a particularly serious case, with antidepressant medication. Unfortunately for Rosalia, when she started to experience symptoms at the age of 16 her mother chose another method of treatment. A devout Christian, she convinced herself that Satan had some part to play in her daughter’s condition and decided that an exorcist would be more helpful than a licensed medical expert.
“One day she told me that were going to Milan to shop – that I needed to relax and forget my problems,” said Rosalia. “It wasn’t until we were halfway to the monastery that she confessed we were actually going to meet an exorcist. I was horrified – my mother had just told me that I had the Devil inside me, and she interpreted every effort I made to get out of seeing the exorcist as a manifestation of Satan. Even though I was sure my problems were psychological, my mum’s confidence began to convince me; I started to believe that I was actually possessed. I was scared.”
Once the pair arrived at the monastery, Rosalia was taken off into a room with the exorcist, who pressed his head into her chest and began whispering the “liberation prayer” – an appeal for help rejecting all of life’s bad influences. The more Rosalia objected the more the priest tightened his grip, reading each scream and squirm as a direct act of Satan. “He crushed me so heavily that I couldn’t breathe,” she told me. “I was about to suffocate.” Full story...
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